Rolling with the punches

Sometimes I think I try too hard. It really means something to me to have the people around me like me (i know i know - it "shouldn't" matter what others think of me, but the truth is sometimes it does). So the other day at work - one of my younger coworkers gave me a hard time about something - in a way that i thought was kind of rude. Ok, it just plain hurt my feelings. So later on (still smarting from his rudeness), I reacted poorly to a normal question by the same person in a public setting. I basically refused to answer. It was a snotty jr high sort of thing to do and as soon as "wouldn't you like to know" came out of my mouth, i wondered why it did (though it is better than what i wanted to say which was "not telling" - so i at least have to give myself credit for that -right?).

I think it all boils back to the wanting to be liked. Which is of course the opposite of what my response brought about. It was just weird - at least for me. I am sure this collegue has not thought about my answer since, except to think that maybe i was a bit snotty. He probably didn't even think he was rude in the first place - i mean he said just kidding - so of course, it couldn't have hurt my feelings. sometimes it feels vulnerable to want to be liked.

and as a tangent - why in the world do people think that saying "just kidding" makes it okay to say rude things? (a very piratey arghh!)